Every Time She Saw Me
I Finally Gave Up And
As Soon As She Set Her
With A Gay Laugh She
She Got In And Removed
I Threw My Pants To
She Smiled Pulling Off
By The Time She Started
She Tugged It Down Slowly
I About Came It Made
She Pointed To The Bed
She Just Shook Her Head
Instantly My Hands Slid
The Material Glistened
I Lifted One Hand Moving
She Moaned Pressing
After A Minute I Scooted
I Used My Free Hand
Finally She Had Had
She Kneeled Straddling
She Pushed Aside The
I Let Out A Groan Of
She Began Rocking Against
I Filled My Hands With
I Loved The Feel Of
I Drew Her Close And
I Could Feel Her Cumming
She Smiled At My Res
Next Week Would Bring
| But now I was hyperconscious of my own, in love with its bounty. I kept stroking what was left of my pubic hair, trying to arouse her. I always was self-conscious when I was with her about how much bigger than her I am, in just about every way. Bigger breasts, bigger hands, longer legs, wider hips. She was more like a preboy then she was a woman, and the way she kept her hair cropped short and her body underfed and the way she dressed all served to reinforce this impression.
Julia said when she saw me. "Have you lost it or something?" "Don't I look sexy?" I asked. "You look like you're an overgrown year old," she said. "Exactly. Don't I look sexy?" Julia moved closer to me with a half sneer on her face. I licked my lips, then licked my fingers, and then played with my clit as I watched myself, naked save for the stockings. I tweaked my nipples with my moist fingers, made them hard so I could bend my head down and lick them, suck on them. Inevitably, when I finally got out of bed I decided to put the white wool stockings back on, even though they were slightly crusty still. I sat naked in front of my mirror and pulled the first one on, up over my knee and mid way up my thigh. The passion melts me, dissolves boundaries between my body and my mind. All those crazy sentimental notions in love songs, about losing yourself and giving all of yourself and feeling such immense joy and incredible pain; I start to understand those things like I never have before in my life. I felt sexed out, overwhelmed by sex; and I just wanted to be able to think about something else for a change. But spending the day alone wasn't any way to stop thinking about sex. I spent most of the morning naked in my bed, a hand between my legs, gently playing with myself as thought of Suki drifted through my consciousness.
I called out of work. I didn't want to leave my apartment. I didn't want to face other people. I felt like the horror of what I had done would be written all over me, would be obvious to anyone who would see me. The man who had already come on the platform still watched me; he knew what I was up to. But I could bring myself to do it, I could not get myself on the train. I had to wait until I got home, where I could stare at my shockingly disheveled self, my hair in pigtails, still clumped and sticky with dried semen, my breasts heavy, heaving against the tight blouse, the plaid schoolgirl skirt covering nothing, the wool stockings pulled up to my thighs, sticky with come themselves, God I hardly recognized myself, and what I saw in the mirror turned me on incredibly. Still I wanted to touch my pussy. I rubbed my ass back and forth on the hard plastic seat, trying to generate some friction. I tugged on my blouse so it would pull the silk taut against my hard nipples and tease them, and that felt overpoweringly delicious. He watched me, too, my skirt folded back, one pair of fingers spreading my cunt open, another three fingers slicing inside me, god, it felt so raw, so amazing. I could tell by the way the man was squirming that he was coming into his pants. I had to sit down. I didn't want to lose my balance and fall onto the tracks or something. I kept my eyes locked on the unassuming little man, working on himself through the pockets of his khakis. I couldn't get the image of those men jerking themselves off out of my mind, nor could I forget Suki, in the business suit that made her seem so much older, so much more mature, her sparkling, laughing eyes, drinking in my humiliation with delight. I never know it could feel so powerful, submitting. I sat down on the filthy bench by the garbage can so that I could play with myself more easily. My cunt was suddenly on fire again, as wet and pulsating as it was when I was tied up at Suki's. It had deprived me of the ability to see the possibility of any human transaction being anything other than sexual. I mean, all those strangers came into that room and promptly pulled out their penises and masturbated right before my eyes, and because of me, because of the way I was dressed, because of the way I am shaped, because of what I was obviously willing to do.
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